Nobody is going to take care of you but you, so start an IRA. Trust me, I wish I had started sooner and been a more faithful saver and planner, myself. I said this to my daughter-in-law one day in the car. Yes, she is married to my son but her mother is a real piece of work who never did her daughter a favor by giving her any guidance that would constructively build her up so I do. Don’t worry, even if her mother were to read this it would not fracture our relationship.

Days earlier we had giving a marketing presentation to a woman who was down on her luck, had survived serious health issues and needed to sell her home because her husband had just filed for divorce. It was my second such appointment in only a few months. Same scenario, essentially the same woman living on the other side of the Parkway.  

The sorrow was palpable. The anger felt as thick as humidity in the Florida air.  Who was this woman actually mad at? I believe her misdirected anger was actually anger at herself for allowing herself to be painted into a corner.  Lack of planning, lack of education, lack of resources, lack of whatever … it doesn’t make a difference. This was yet another woman who didn’t pack a parachute, who got royally pissed when the pilot jumped out and left her in an airplane spiraling towards the ground.  I know what it is like, of course, because I’ve been in dire straights before, myself.

Let me share with glee that I didn’t take the job … actually, I was courteous and helpful but I didn’t really push for it because trying to sell that home was going to be an exercise in futility. The last thing I need is a bitter divorcee who is trying to wring every future dollar value out of a home by over pricing it in an effort to match every dollar she never saved.  Should I had listed it over value it would have just sat and she would have been hanging around  the community  pool telling everybody that I was the one who couldn’t sell her home.  Many months later it is still on the market so my choice was spot on. 

This isn’t really a bitchfest about bitter women as it is a  simple recognition of the fact that we are all responsible for ourselves. Bad things happen and we need need to saddle up and ride on.  I’ve been a victim of plenty of bad things but I’ve owned the things that I was complicit in.  Sometimes that realization wasn’t immediate but when I got there I owned it.

Eh, at any rate, I would have loved to help the lady. I’ve helped many a woman get back on their feet by supporting them both emotionally and financially.   Sadly, some people can’t be helped because they are just too comfortable being miserable and too comfortable waiting for someone to stroll on by and clean up their mess.

I hope she finds some way to make her mess into her message.

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